In the last few days, I felt like I was in a rut. It was like all I do is go to work and then come home to the same old things, more or less. There's the dishes to do, laundry, cooking my supper, taking care of my dog Moochie and my cat RC, check and respond to email, occasionally doing a little cleaning or working out in the yard, and running errands every now and then. However, before you think I live a very dull life, I should let you now that isn't all I do. In fact, I do a lot more than that, and it is the extra projects that I'm working on that seemed to be making me feel like I was just spinning my wheels in life. Please allow me to explain.
Since the latter part of the previous century, I was seeing a very frightening trend in America where too many Americans were becoming amazingly complacent about the meaning of "the land of the free," and where this country was headed. It seemed to me that people were too willing to allow the government to become their nanny, and that we were no longer able to do things for ourselves. Personal responsibility for our own lives was being relegated to the dust bins of history, because it was expected that the government (Federal, state and local) would take care of our problems. And meanwhile, moral decay has been taking a firmer grip on society; not just in America, but everywhere in the world.
When I first started learning of the things that were going on, there were no personal computers or the Internet. In order for me to help spread the word about what was happening, I was dependent on personal and group vocal presentations and sharing audio cassette tapes,and eventually VCR tapes and CD's. On January 1, 2000, I started my website, johnny2k.com. A couple of years later, I got my forums going. My whole purpose was to be able to spread the idea of Freedom. My original focus began with trying to spread financial freedom by taking advantage of the good old free enterprise system. That's right, good ol' capitalism.
Along came the Internet. First, everyone set themselves up with an email account. Many of the more tech-savvy people out there then discovered the domain names they could get to have an "online presence." It didn't take long after that for people to discover forums, chat rooms, blogs, and now the social websites. I was one of those people, though usually a year or two behind the initial waves. Hey, but at least I do it now!
It wasn't long before I discovered that information dispersal was absolutely dependent on information retrieval. Well, no problem. I turned myself into a news junkie. I'm actually overwhelmed with the amount of information that I can consume in a short amount of time. And the fact is, despite my efforts, I can not possibly share all that I learn with the masses like I would want to. There doesn't seem to be enough time.
Clearly, when you think about all the others that are out there in cyberspace, there are a lot of players competing for the hearts and minds, and especially the eyes, of the potential audience - consumers - of the ideas that they desire to promote. And, I am one of them in the competition. That's where the problem began. I was aware of the fact that I am just a crumb amongst all of those out there. That revelation was damaging, as feeling like a little bitty crumb in the scheme of things meant that I could spend the rest of my life in obscurity and being limited to the obscenely meager income of my current job.
I have to admit, I was experiencing the reality of any of my hopes and dreams being crushed like Obama did to a fly. I honestly have to confess that I was wondering if there was any reason to keep on fighting. But then, last night, a good friend on twitter and blip.fm shared a great song with me. You can see the video to the song followed by the lyrics below:
Lyrics to, "Don't give up"I guess we could say that this song hit the nail on the head. it was just what I needed to hear (and read). It taught me something. It's okay being just one of the crumbs. In fact, it also told me that while I may be just a crumb, it's important for me to keep doing what I'm doing, and hopefully touching one more person. That's it. That's all. But remember, we're NOT alone. There's a place where we belong. I'm not giving up!
Sung by Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush
In this proud land we grew up strong
We were wanted all along
I was taught to fight, taught to win
I never thought I could fail
No fight left or so it seems
I am a man whose dreams have all deserted
Ive changed my face, Ive changed my name
But no one wants you when you lose
Dont give up
cos you have friends
Dont give up
Youre not beaten yet
Dont give up
I know you can make it good
Though I saw it all around
Never thought I could be affected
Thought that wed be the last to go
It is so strange the way things turn
Drove the night toward my home
The place that I was born, on the lakeside
As daylight broke, I saw the earth
The trees had burned down to the ground
Dont give up
You still have us
Dont give up
We dont need much of anything
Dont give up
cause somewhere theres a place
Where we belong
Rest your head
You worry too much
Its going to be alright
When times get rough
You can fall back on us
Dont give up
Please dont give up
got to walk out of here
I cant take anymore
Going to stand on that bridge
Keep my eyes down below
Whatever may come
And whatever may go
That rivers flowing
That rivers flowing
Moved on to another town
Tried hard to settle down
For every job, so many men
So many men no-one needs
Dont give up
cause you have friends
Dont give up
Youre not the only one
Dont give up
No reason to be ashamed
Dont give up
You still have us
Dont give up now
Were proud of who you are
Dont give up
You know its never been easy
Dont give up
cause I believe theres the place
Theres a place where we belong
UPDATE (a few minutes after I posted this on my blog):
This blog was not just for my benefit, though it helped. It was for you. It is my prayer that when you saw and heard the above video, and read the lyrics, that big ol' tears would be rolling down your face as I experienced. We must remember from this song, "Don't Give Up," WE ARE NOT ALONE! And yeah, I could really use a big hug right now, too!
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