Saturday, December 25, 2010

Okay, so I'm not really Superman

By John Kubicek

December 25, 2010

Here I am, early Christmas morning, writing on my blog. Why would I do such a thing? Shouldn't I be soundly sleeping, or at least watching for Santa's sleigh passing overhead?

Years ago, I would have been doing the more traditional type of things. But now, it's all about letting those in my social network know that I love them and care about them... and I go and post something on my Facebook page that took me totally by surprise:
Okay, I'll admit it.... I did have a few tears when I watched this just now. I was very blessed to have had Connie in my life. Our last Christmas before she passed away was 7 years ago... I'm just sayin'....
They say that time heals. However, we should ask, how MUCH time? I lost my wife Connie early in 2004, so it had been seven years since we last had a Christmas together. I seemed to have been doing okay in the last few years, but tonight (actually, this Christmas morning), I watched a couple videos I had put up on youtube several years ago. Despite the lousy quality of the videos, being that they were two of the first videos I had uploaded, I found tears running down my cheeks. Please watch both of the following videos, and then I'll explain just why I posted this writing... And believe me, it wasn't to bring you down, but to lift you up!

Miss You So Much - Part 1

Miss You So Much - Part 2

Videos provided by TheREALjohnny2k

Here's the thing. There will always be loved ones in our lives that are not with us any more on these holidays. It isn't going to be easy. We will always have the wonderful memories of the way things were! Without a federal grant (earmark) to research this theory I have, I can only say by personal experience I've learned that every Christmas or special holiday can be be quite difficult without certain loved ones still being with us. But, so is the fact that we may have had wonderful memories of Christmas in the past that just can't be duplicated! You may just find out that keeping a tradition can be a very difficult task as you grow longer in tooth.

As it is now Christmas Day as I write, I sure want to leave you with a more positive and happy feeling than what may have come across so far.

You see, we celebrate this day because of the gift that God gave us with the birth of the baby Jesus! It is great cause for joy to the world! Is there really any sorrow you have found in life that can't be negated by this great gift? Along with the Facebook post I referred to above, I commented that the pain we keep inside can be our "kryptonite," the substance that can diminish our outward Superman appearance. And yes, as you saw above, the grief of losing loved ones can do that. But what we have to do to neutralize the "kryptonite" of our lives is to do our best to find all the things that we can be very thankful for. We need to always bring along our "Superman" attitude, love those that are still with us, and make new memories!

But, I am not really Superman. There are times when I am not sure that I can ever imagine the joy of Christmas Day the way I remember it from times past. The bar was set very high with my family's way of following and owning our own holiday traditions... with watching our kids open presents... with seeing the joy in my Mom's eyes. I'm suddenly realizing that it's time to create new and wonderful memories of this Season!

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John Kubicek said...

It was definitely a Christmas Miracle that I wrote this piece. The emotions were strong, but my desire to help somebody else get through the tragedy of losing a loved one, either recently or long time past, that inspired me. I had not written like that for a very long, long time. That is why it was my own personal miracle, but I'm hoping it touched a life of somebody that needed to read it.

MidAmericaGal said...

John, I loved this peice, kind of a sentimental journey. Although those of us reading your story and listening to your tribute didn't know her I would like to share a few things about her.

From the look of these pictures she led a happy life. Smiles seem to come naturally to her, especially when she is with freinds and family. Perhaps she enjoyed a quiet night of watching tv and snuggling or playing cards with friends.

One thing I do know for sure is that she knew you loved her John, and will forever. It's in your smile too and the joy you feel when you take time to consider those fond memories. I'm sure she felt loved and adored. You are a lucky couple to have known true compassion for another human being.

We all should be so lucky.